so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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