Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
