Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
