shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
