READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just cut my nipple shaving
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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