Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize