i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
