I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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