he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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