Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
