you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
