Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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