i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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