He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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