Someone shit on the floor
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
