instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Send help, water and tortillas.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
