Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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