I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
