...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize