put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
