Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How naked do you want me to be?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
