he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
