I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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