I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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