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you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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