We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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