is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
