He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
