so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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