There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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