Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
