Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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