Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
