So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
