My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
