somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
