Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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