Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I want a musical about memes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
