Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
barbara walters just said penis...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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