I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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