Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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