i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
