This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize