My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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