i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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