Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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