I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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