rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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