i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
