dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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