hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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