the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
