so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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