i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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