glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
