Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
