She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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