Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
