Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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