Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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