it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
