I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
