So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dignity is for republicans.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize