remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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