East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
