why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
