Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
