I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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