these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
