I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
