So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
