I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
