He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
