On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
