I want to make a zoo with you.
He passed out mid-signature
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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