I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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