So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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