So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So vagazzling was a success
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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