i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
