planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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