Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
