I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
