Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
