It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
